A letter from Dr.Maeve O’Brien

The Soar Foundation

Megan Byrne

Thursday 17th June

My name is Megan Byrne, I’m from Blanchardstown and I’m 22 years old. Thank you for having my voice as part of today’s conversation. In Soar we ask teenagers every day to step outside their comfort zones and today I’m grateful to be stepping outside of mine.

I’ve been facilitating with Soar for 4 years, travelling around Ireland delivering workshops to teenagers. My journey with Soar started seven years ago, when the team came into my school in St Peters, Dunboyne and lit a lightbulb in me that I couldn’t switch off. I knew from the second the workshop ended that I needed to be a part of the difference the Soar team were making in the lives of teenagers like me. When Mark asked me to speak today, I felt the excitement of the opportunity. With that came nerves that were calmed by remembering that although all of us are living many different realities, one thing we all have in common is that we have all been teenagers. Before every workshop I step into, I ask myself “Who was I as a teenager?” and “What did I need?”. I’d love us all to think about what our answer to those questions might be.

As a teenager I tried on so many hats before I found the one that fit. There’s a lot of fun that comes with teenage years, but I spent so much of that time lost and confused. Although I would have never shown that. I had a short temper that quickly got me known in school as someone you didn’t want sitting in your class. People saw my bad attitude but rarely stopped to wonder what was causing it. I wasn’t a bad kid, I just needed someone to see the good in me – and for me to see it myself.

Young people are made believe that letting people see their vulnerability is a bad thing. For so long I felt like I was the only person in the world who had bad days, or who knew what foster care was, or who had a really sick Mam. I thought I was the only one afraid of seeking help because so many voices minimise teenager’s experiences by saying ‘it’s just a phase’.

When a teacher asked my friend to describe the Soar workshop he said,” it felt like there was a magic wand they used to show the group that none of us are as alone as we think.” We spent four years thinking we knew everything about our class, but we only really started getting to know each other when we saw our classmates courageously reveal who they really were and share the lessons they’ve learnt from life so far.

While there is so much judgement filling up group chats and classrooms for teenagers, I remember so clearly the positive effect that was had on our class when we were given the chance to tell each other how much we valued one another that day. You could feel the weight drop of having to pretend that we had life all figured out. That’s because someone stopped to be curious about the reality of what being a teenager is really like. They showed up, they listened, and they cared. And that was enough.

I’ve worked with thousands of teenagers. As facilitators we’re trained with the skills to build trust and be brave in how we connect with them.

I often have moments that remind me why I do this job. In a workshop recently, one girl in particular stood out to me. She had the similar “bad attitude” that my younger self had. Rather than ignoring it, I became curious, only to discover that behind the mask she was wearing was a person whose Mam had passed away at the start of the year. She was also newly placed in foster care which nobody knew about because nobody ever questioned what was really going on for her.

The reality is every single workshop we step into, we see younger versions of ourselves. The same things that held me and you back are still holding back this generation. On top of that, they are facing additional issues such as stronger levels of peer pressure, social media and academic pressures.

Soar came into my life at a point in my teens when I didn’t think I’d see tomorrow and that was lonely. Over the last 15 months I’ve heard an endless number of teenagers experiencing this exact kind of loneliness. What they need now more than ever is a space helping them to connect together again after being isolated for so long. They need a reminder that someone cares for them and is rooting for them. The teenagers today have so much wisdom to share with each other, but they’re not given enough opportunity to do so. Soar caters to every need I just listed, and that’s why these workshops are important.

We have to believe in our young people today if we want to have strong and confident role models, creators, carers, and leaders in the future.